Sick Joke
by keep-me-posted
Summary: When Jester comes down with a cold, Jane helps out her friend and becomes a jester for the day. JatD OneShot.


**Hi everyone! I return with another JatD OneShot! Only, this one isn't exactly worded like a OneShot. I actually found this story a few days ago in my royal archives [AKA: Abandoned folder on my computer]. I originally wrote it at least a week after discovering the show. Which probably explains why it's so close to the real show. [As in, nothing is in it that they wouldn't actually show in the show.] At least...I seem to think so, lol.**

**In fact, it is actually written like it's an episode, making like each line break is a fade out to a new scene. I had stopped writing the story when I couldn't think of a good ending for it****. I recently wrote that part, so I hope you like it. Also, it was originally written with a ton of contractions and it took me forever to find them all. So if you notice one I left in there by mistake****, you win a cookie I finding it, lol.**

**Wow...I wrote too much. Thanks to anyone who actually read all that, even though most of it was totally unneeded information, lol. Please enjoy the story! :] Also, I only own JatD in my dreams.**

* * *

It was a typical afternoon around the kingdom. Jane had just recently finished a good staves lesson with Gunther. She smiled, knowing full well who had won the match this time, and noticed Jester sitting atop of one of the stone ledges near the garden, talking to himself.

"Hello, Jester," She smiled; Dragon right beside her, as usual.

"Hello, Jane," He nodded, his hat jingling. "Dragon."

"And what are you up to today?"

"Same as usual," He replied. "Coming up with some good jokes and limericks for the court, of course. A good jester never takes a break from such silliness. I am to perform for them tonight at supper." He closed his eyes and moved his lips while strumming an invisible lute. He coughed into his sleeve before continuing.

Jane turned to Dragon who raised an eyebrow at Jester's random gesture. "A bit nervous, are we, Short Life?" He questioned.

Jester laughed half-heartedly. "Me? Nervous? Of course not." He paused. "I mean, not really." He hung his head. "Maybe…just a little."

Jane smiled brightly. "Anything we can do to help?" After all, now that she had finished her studies, she had little to do. And there was nothing she loved more than helping out a friend in need. Besides watching Gunther's face as she pinned him down in a fair fight. She smiled again.

Jester looked up. "Yes, actually. Would you like to hear the joke I am to open up with?"

Jane stuck the wooden sword she had been holding into the ground, folded her hands over the handle and rested her chin atop them. "Let us have it."

"Okay," Jester cleared his throat, hiding another cough. "Knock knock."

"Who is there?" Dragon and Jane replied almost simultaneously.

"A-achoo!" He went on, holding a hand over his nose.

"Achoo who?" Dragon asked. Jane kept quiet, eying her friend.

Jester sneezed again, wiping his nose against his sleeve.

Dragon crossed his arms. "Not very funny."

"Jester, are you alright?" Jane wondered, walking up to him.

"Perfectly…fine," He answered, his eyes watering as he held his nose.

Before Jane, or anyone else, could say anything more, Jester freed his hand and let out a cough/sneeze, falling over the edge of the small stone wall and into Rake's tomato garden.

"Now _that_ was funny!" Dragon laughed.

"Jester?" Jane rushed over to the king's clown, thankful Rake was not around to see that. He was very protective of his plants. Jester had landed on almost every tomato in the patch, making his normally blue outfit red in color.

"I am fine," Jester said, trying to pull himself up. "Clumsy, as usual."

Jane placed her hands on her hips. "You are _never_ clumsy."

"A shame that is," Dragon put in, replaying Jester's current fall over again in his mind. "You are a perfect candidate for such physical humor."

"That is enough, Dragon," Jane muttered, helping Jester wipe off some of the tomato juice from his hat.

Jester sneezed again, just inches from Jane's face.

She looked at him again, concern in her eyes. Jester prayed his face did not turn the color of the juice still sitting on his outfit. "Are you sure you are okay?"

"I am fine, Jane," He said, clearing his scratchy throat. "Must be all the dust."

"What dust?" Dragon asked.

Jester rubbed the back of his neck.

Jane shook her head and placed the back of her hand against her friend's forehead. She pulled it away swiftly. "Goodness, you are extremely hot!"

Jester stared at her, suddenly unsure how to blink. He was most sure his face was red now. "Sorry?"

"You are burning up," She said. "That is why you have been sneezing and coughing like that. You are sick."

He brushed her sentence aside. "That is ridiculous. I do not get sick. I-" He sneezed again.

Jane raised an eyebrow at him.

"Then again…" He said, holding his suddenly aching head.

She shook her head, put her arm around Jester and glanced over her shoulder at her reptile type friend. "Come along, Dragon. Let us take Jester to his room."

Dragon made a face, his eyes cutting at the young joker. "Is he contagious?"

Jane glared.

"I mean…a-anything for a short life."

* * *

Jane headed into Jester's room first, thankful the door was unlocked. She led her friend to his bed and let him get situated. Then she glanced around the room, as it was the first time she has ever actually been in Jester's room, and Jane was very observant.

She noticed right off the bat that it was much smaller than her room. It was not really decorated in any way. The only way you could tell it was his room was from the spare bells strewed across his floor and his lute leaning against his dresser, covered in various sheets of music.

Jane swung her head around to face Jester once again. "What are you doing?" She asked, noticing him staring back at her.

He averted his eyes. "Nothing."

She gave him a curious look and shook it off. "Well, Pepper should be here any minute with your soup and once you finish that, you need to rest in bed until you are feeling better."

"Rest?" Jester exclaimed. "I have not time to rest. I have to perform for the king in a little over an hour."

"You are not performing," Jane told him, holding her hands behind her back. "You are going to stay here-"

"I cannot. I-"

"While _I_ take your place as jester," She finished.

"But Jane…" He paused, realizing what she just agreed to. "Really?"

Jane nodded. "You need your rest. The king will understand. Especially since there is someone willing to take your place."

"A-are you sure?" Jester asked. "I can still go. I am perfectly-" He turned his head and coughed. "Perfectly fine."

She smirked, "Right."

Suddenly, Pepper burst into the room, holding a tray with a steaming bowl on top of it. "Here we are, Jester." She said in her normal bubbly voice. "This will make you feel as good as new!" The young cook placed the tray over Jester's lap, smiling.

"What is it?" He asked, sniffing the air.

"Chicken noodle soup," She answered. "Perfect for a head cold."

Jester slurped up his first spoonful, hungrily. He smiled at Pepper, nodding his head. "It is very good."

"It is nothing, really," She blushed. "I had planned on making you some tomato basil soup, but someone crushed the entire tomato patch!"

Jester choked a bit on his next spoonful of soup.

"Rake is devastated, but he blames himself for not watching his garden properly."

"Right," Jester spoke up. "Well-"

"It smells delicious, Pepper," Jane complimented, changing the subject hastily. "Too bad I am not sick. I would love to try some."

Pepper wagged a finger at her. "Nobody _wants_ to be sick, Jane. Besides, there is plenty more where this came from. Since I already had the ingredients ready, I decided to make it for tonight's dinner, as well." Her eyes got wide. "Speaking of which, I have got to get back to the kitchen." Pepper waved at her friends and left.

"I should apologize to Rake," Jester said, getting ready to hop out of bed.

Jane held her hands out. "I will take care of it."

He made a face. "Really, Jane. It is one thing to take over my job, but to do my dirty work, as well?"

"Okay, you can apologize to Rake," Jane nodded. "But later. Like I said, you need your rest. Now when were you to start your show for the royal court?"

"An hour," He said, taking another slurp of his soup. "At the least."

"Very well." Jane swiped the hat off Jester's head and placed it on her own.

"Hey!"

"How do I look?" Jane asked, spinning around the room.

"You look like a knight with a jingling hat atop your head."

Jane crossed her arms over her chest. "That is hardly fair. I am not completely in costume. I need your outfit, too."

Jester raised an eyebrow and shrugged, getting ready to unzip his suit.

"Jester!" She laughed, pulling a spare outfit of his he kept in his closet, also much smaller than Jane's. "I meant your _other_ outfit!"

He lifted his soup bowl to cover his reddening face. "I-I knew that."

* * *

Moments later, Jane returned to Jester's room, wearing Jester's hat and suit, bagging off her body slightly. "_Now_ how do I look?"

He surveyed her, rubbing his chin playfully.

She giggled. "Well?"

"You look," He sighed. "Like a jester."

She nodded, letting her arms fall to the side of her body. "Well, unfortunately, it is not enough to just _look_ like one. I have to act like one, too."

"I think you will be an amazing jester," Jester said.

Jane fidgeted with her fingers and tucked a random piece of hair back into the current hat she was wearing.

"Just…" Jester began again. "And I know this will be hard, as it is _you_…But try not to be _too_ amazing. I do not want to be out of a job, you know."

Jane smiled brightly. "Of course."

She then skipped out of Jester's room, after saying a proper farewell, and ran straight into Gunther in the process. They both fell to the ground, landing opposite of each other.

"What the-" Gunther began, before readjusting his eyes onto the figure before him. "Why Jane, I had no idea it was Dress Like a Complete Fool Day. Why was I not informed?"

"No need," Jane said, sweetly sarcastic, picking herself from off the ground. "It looks like you were already prepared." She waved a hand at Gunther's attire.

Dragon laughed across the way.

"Not funny," He grumbled.

"Dragon seems to think so."

Gunther sneered at the young red head and pushed past her. His shoulder hit her shoulder, knocking her back to the ground. Dragon paused and laughed again, harder and louder this time, as he banged his fists against the castle grounds.

Jane got up again, wiping the dirt from her outfit. "Which side are you on, anyway?"

* * *

"What are you doing?" Dragon asked, his head hovering over Jane's right shoulder.

She pulled her nose from the book she was reading and flipped to the next page. "Reading up on jokes and such."

"Why?"

Jane sighed. She had to be careful how she answered that. If she was not specific, she knew for sure the next question [and the next _next _question] Dragon asked would be "why" again.

"I am filling in for Jester for the day, as he is sick." She turned to her friend, pulling at the blue fabric on her shoulder. "Why do you think I was wearing this?"

"I thought maybe it was part of a new game you short lives were going to play," Dragon stated, innocently. "Besides, can we not do something more productive instead. As in, with me?"

"Like what?"

"Oh, I do not know, like maybe discover the meaning of a new dragon rune? Like you have been promising to do since you met me?"

Jane sighed again. He always seemed to bring that up. "We do that practically everyday," Jane said, trying hard to focus on her research.

"Not yesterday!" Dragon informed her, almost spitting out the words.

Jane scoffed, closing the book for a moment. "Because you wanted to watch cows."

Dragon looked flustered. "Well, now it is today and as there are no cows around, I want to study my dragon runes."

"Then what are you waiting for?" She was not trying to be rude, but Dragon was pretty good at pushing her buttons at all the wrong times.

"You."

"Dragon, I am busy," Jane replied, patting his green scales. "We will work on it tomorrow."

He stared at her for a long moment. "Okay," He blurted out, completely giving in. "You promise?"

"Knight's honor."

* * *

It had been a very eventful day, full of things Jane never thought she would ever have to learn. Jokes, limericks, ballads… Jane breathed deep and pushed on the castle doors making her way to the king and queen.

When she entered the room, she stepped forward, jingling all the way, and bowed her head. "Evening, your majesty's."

The King made a face. "Jester, you look…different today, though I cannot place why."

The Queen leaned towards her husband, whispering politely. "Darling, that is not Jester. It is Jane…I believe."

"Yes," Jane nodded.

"Jane?" King Caradoc's eyes got wide. "Well, where is Jester? And please tell me he has got other clothes on." The King looked nervously from left to right, as though a nude Jester would pop out at any moment.

Jane held in a giggle. "Jester is in sick today, your Majesty. I am taking his place…in a _spare_ outfit of his."

"Spare outfit?" He leaned towards Sir Ivan, who was standing close to his side, as usual. "Am I paying for that?"

"I know this is not my usual job, sir, but if you would let me, I would like to give you a show I have been preparing…for the past hour or so," She added under her breath.

"Very well," The King nodded. "Go on Jane…er, _Jester_."

Jane smiled, bowing again. Her hat fell to the ground before her. The Queen laughed behind her hand.

Jane blushed, picking it up where it lay. "That was not part of the show." She placed the hat back on her head, moving a stray bang from her face.

Jane opened her mouth, ready to start, when Sir Theodore and Gunther entered the foyer. She gulped. As far as Theodore knew, she was still busy studying for her test tomorrow. Gunther started laughing as soon as he walked in.

"Jane?" The King's voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"We are waiting."

Jane nodded. "Right." She messed with the hem of her outfit, fiddling with a loose thread. She cleared her throat. She was not usually this nervous about anything.

"Yes, Jane," Gunther spoke up. "Enchant us with your jokes. I am sure they are much better than your sparring techniques."

"Perhaps you have already forgotten who beat you at staves this morning, Gunther," Jane shot back.

Sir Theodore cleared his throat. "This is neither the time nor the place for your bickering." He turned to Jane. "The royal court is eager to see your performance, Jane."

"As am I," A voice cut through the air. At first, Jane thought it was another snide remark from Gunther, until her side vision caught a flash of blue.

"Jester?" Her eyes lit up with relief.

"Forgive me for the bad pun," He began, folding his hands behind his back. "But you looked like quite a fool up there."

Jane smirked. Then something obvious clicked in her head. "Wait, what are you doing out of bed?"

"I am cured!" Jester sang, dancing a short jig in front of his friend. "Pepper's soup did wonders on my cold."

"So I see." She shuffled her feet. "So, I suppose you will take your rightful place as jester again."

"I am afraid I do not see anyone else who is up for the task." He gave a small wink, so Jane would not take it as an insult.

"I did study, I swear it," She said, defensively. "I just did not think about the actual performing until…just now."

Jester shook his head. He knew how Jane wanted to be the best at almost everything sometimes. "But, Jane, you are _not_ a jester. This is not your role. Not your stage." He draped an arm over her shoulder and pointed out of the corridors, at the castle grounds. "That Jane, out there is where you perform. Out there is where you take your bow everyday. _That_ is your stage."

An embarrassed blush crept up her cheeks, matching the color of her hair. "Thank you, Jester."

"Yes, thank you, Jester, for the wonderful pep-talk," King Caradoc's voice echoed through the room. "I would hate to interrupt, but as you performers like to say, 'The show must go on', yes?"

"Right," Jester nodded and turned back to Jane. "Well, I think it is time I got to _my_ stage." He turned his head noiselessly, while grabbing for his lute strapped to his back.

It was then that Jane noticed that Jester had not jingled or jangled since he first entered the room. Remembering what he was missing, she pulled the blue hat off her head and raised it in the air. "First you will need this."

Jester nodded and bowed his head as Jane placed it atop his blonde locks, almost like a king being crowned. The King of Fools.

Just then the _true_ king cleared his throat, obviously impatient.

Jane giggled quietly and rushed towards the doors. Gunther was already gone, most likely making a race out of who will get to the dummy to practice first.

Jane turned around once more and watched Jester play a ballad he had been working on for the past month, to the court. In the middle of the song, Jester stopped for a short moment and managed to hide a sneeze from behind his arm before continuing. Jane vaguely noticed this, but decided let it go.

Sick or not, the show had to go on. Perhaps he was just fooling her. He was, after all, a jester.

* * *

**Wow, I think that is the longest OneShot I've ever written, lol. And I totally just noticed how not very funny it was. Oh well...**

**The ending is what you want it to be. Perhaps Jester was never really sick in the first place and he just wanted to play a prank on Jane to see if she could actually be up to the task of being him for a day. Or perhaps he was _still_ sick but knew very well he still needed to do his job, so he just tried to bear with it and performed anyway. I personally wrote it the second way, but it can go either way, I guess.**

**Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it. Comments are love.**


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